Confidence Isn’t a Personality Trait; It’s A Skill You Can Build.

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Learn how to show up, stand out, and make meaningful connections—without fake small talk or forced confidence.

Let’s get one thing straight: networking is not just for extroverts in blazers or people who collect business cards like it’s a hobby. It’s for anyone who wants to build genuine connections, unlock opportunities, and yes—even end up jumping out of a plane over Normandy (true story, we’ll get there).

But here’s what gets in the way for most of us: confidence. More specifically, it is the idea that confidence is something you’re either born with or you’re not.

Spoiler: it’s not.

Confidence is a skill. One that can be practiced, strengthened, and used to transform how you show up in every room—whether it’s a packed conference, a coffee meeting, or a random chat while standing in the Southwest boarding line.

Here’s what confidence really looks like:

Confidence is walking into the room knowing you’re not for everyone, and being okay with that.
It’s trusting that you'll bounce back even if you spill a drink or blank on someone’s name.
It’s understanding that you have something to offer—yes, you—even if you’re new, young, different, or still figuring it out.

And it’s the reason I founded Cultivate A Network of Champions.

Networking isn’t collecting contacts. It’s building relationships.

That’s it.

We overcomplicate networking by turning it into something transactional and awkward. But at its core, it’s just about making friends before you need one. It’s starting conversations and following up. Remembering someone’s favorite team or the side project they’re proud of. It’s showing up and staying curious.

Because when you build genuine relationships, magic happens.

Like being invited to jump out of an 80-year-old airplane over Normandy, that opportunity didn’t come from applying online, it came from a conversation at a happy hour a few months prior.

“Curiosity + Vulnerability + Preparation = Confidence”

Confidence isn’t about being the loudest but knowing you belong.

It’s standing tall even if you feel shaky.
It’s walking into the room trusting that you have something valuable to offer.
It’s knowing that even if your worst-case scenario happens (you spill your drink, your voice cracks, you trip walking onto stage), you’ll recover—and probably laugh about it later.

I’ve done all of the above. And guess what? I’m still here.

Networking is making friends before you need one.

We make this more complicated than it needs to be. Networking is not about perfect small talk or transactional asks. It’s relationship-building. It’s staying curious, following up, and listening closely. Being genuinely interested in someone else’s story and not just waiting for your turn to talk.

And it’s not always about meeting new people. Sometimes it’s just about reconnecting. Reaching out to someone you haven’t seen in a while and saying, “Hey, what are you working on right now?” That’s networking, too.

Here’s the formula that works:

Curiosity + Vulnerability + Preparation = Confidence

• Curiosity opens the door. Ask better questions: “What’s something you’re working on that excites you?” gets you much further than “So… what do you do?”

• Vulnerability keeps it honest. It’s okay not to know everything. Say, “I’ve never heard of that—tell me more.” People connect with us over our vulnerabilities.

• Preparation builds your foundation. Do your homework. Know who’s in the room. Keep a few go-to questions in your pocket. And yes—cue up your hype song on the drive over.

Confidence doesn’t mean you never feel nervous. It means you’ve practiced enough to know you’ll survive it. And you don’t get that practice unless you show up.

A Few Power Moves for Your Next Event

• Wear something that makes you feel like the best version of you

• Smile when you check in—people remember kindness

• Breathe before you walk in (seriously—it helps)

• Use your full name on your name tag

• Don’t skip the follow-up. Refer to something you talked about and suggest next steps. It sets you apart.

And please, for the love of your future self, don’t overdo the cocktails: one drink, maybe two. But the goal is to be remembered for the right reasons.

You’ve got something to offer in every conversation. You don’t need a bigger title or a fancier resume. You need to show up, stay curious, and keep following through.

You belong in the room. And if you needed a nudge to believe that today, this is it.